Marriage Therapy in Seattle
Develop Resilience, Not Just Resolution
Conflict in marriage isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a signal—an invitation to grow as individuals and as a couple. It often feels like a sign of failure, or a crack in the foundation, when left unattended for too long or when resolution isn’t achieved. That’s a reflection of the weight of carrying the concern rather than an indicator of what’s possible! Marital therapy, when guided by a developmental lens, helps you navigate those signals with more clarity, courage, and skill. My approach is grounded in the belief that true intimacy doesn’t always come from agreement or comfort, but from differentiation: the ability to stay connected to yourself while staying connected to your partner.
When Should Married Couples Seek Therapy?
Marriage counseling isn’t just for crisis. Many couples seek it when they feel emotionally distant, stuck in recurring conflicts, or when intimacy has flatlined. But it can also be a proactive, growth-oriented space. If you’re:
- Struggling to feel seen or understood
- Experiencing emotional reactivity or shutdowns
- Navigating resentment, betrayal, or broken trust
- Stuck in roles that no longer serve either of you
- Experiencing a loss of intimacy or desire
- Managing high-stress transitions or parenting dynamics
- Ready to deepen emotional honesty and mutual respect
…this work can help. Especially when you’re ready to move past blaming your partner and start examining how you each participate in the cycle.
What Makes This Approach Different?
The developmental model of marital therapy doesn’t aim to return you to who you used to be as a couple. Instead, it supports both partners in becoming more fully themselves—and more capable of sustaining intimacy in that truth. I focus on increasing differentiation: your ability to self-regulate, hold your perspective, hear your partner’s reality without losing yourself, and make intentional relational choices. My goal is to help you develop insights towards behavioral change rather than sharing reactions that deepen a divide or create confusion.
This isn’t quick-fix work. It’s real psychological growth inside the container of your marriage.
Who I work with
I welcome all married couples—monogamous, polyamorous, LGBTQIA+, neurodivergent, newly married or long-established. Whether you’re in the wake of rupture or looking to refine how you relate, I create a space that supports direct, meaningful work. My practice is trauma-informed, sex-positive, empowering, and grounded in systems thinking.
What We Will Work On Together
In our sessions, I will help you:
- Unpack your conflict cycles and underlying attachment strategies
- Explore how differentiation (or lack thereof) plays into your dynamic
- Learn to communicate with clarity and grounded self-expression
- Strengthen each partner’s capacity for emotional self-regulation
- Practice holding tension without collapsing or cutting off
- Rebuild trust and mutual respect through courageous conversations
- Work toward sexual reconnection that honors your evolving identities
The work isn’t about eliminating discomfort—it’s about growing your capacity to stay present through it, and becoming more skillful in how you respond.
Can Marital Therapy Really Help Us?
Yes, if you’re ready to stretch. Marital therapy rooted in differentiation challenges both partners to grow—to confront old relational patterns, step out of roles, and tolerate discomfort as part of becoming more fully themselves. From this growth, new connection becomes possible. Couples who engage in this work often report:
- Increased emotional intimacy and safety
- Clearer, more authentic communication
- Decreased reactivity and escalations
- Stronger conflict repair and mutual respect
- A renewed sense of individuality within the partnership
You don’t need to lose yourself to stay connected.
Differentiation is the foundation of sustainable love. When you stop trying to merge or fix your partner, and instead learn how to self-regulate, self-define, and stay present, the relationship transforms. Working with a marriage therapist gives you the structure to practice this—with support, direction, and honest feedback.
You don’t need to lose yourself to stay connected.
If you’re searching for marriage counseling in Seattle or a marriage therapist in Seattle who goes deeper than communication tips, you’ve found the right place. I offer Seattle marriage counseling that prioritizes real growth over temporary fixes.
If you’re wondering whether it’s time to get help, that’s a sign it already is. Let’s get to work.